How would you feel in this situation? (baby shower/furniture related)?
My mother-in-law wants to buy the crib for our baby. She asked me to pick out ones that I want, but all that I have picked out she doesn’t like and doesn’t want to get. What I really wanted was a 3 piece nursery set for around 0 that has everything that we need for the nursery (crib, changer, AND dresser). My husband and I are on a tight budget and can’t afford to get any extras ourselves. I figured it wasn’t asking her to pay much either.
She said she didn’t want to do that and wanted me to pick out a nicer crib, so I did. She didn’t like it either.
She wants to buy a crib that’s dark wood. I want white because it will look so pretty with the bedding I already purchased and my rooms are trimmed in white (white baseboards, white doors, white windows, etc). I just think white would look so pretty and that dark wood would clash with the pink walls we are planning on having and the bedding.
No matter what I suggest, she won’t buy! It’s starting to frustrate me. At the same time I feel bad for not wanting the dark wood cause she is buying, but in the same regard, if my husband and I were the ones buying, we would go for the 0 set and not have to worry about buying a dresser and changer. Ugh.
How would you feel and have you been in a similar situation?
Tagged with: bedding • dark wood • doors • mother in law • pink walls • regard • tight budget
Filed under: Baby Furniture Set
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Just let her know that you both really want a white one and if she doesnt want to get you the one you want then you dont want her to buy it. Just because she wants to buy it for you doesnt mean she gets to control what you want. Sounds like shes trying to be in control of soemthing that should be between your husband and you and shes using money to do it.
Maybe your husband needs to step up to the plate and speak to his mother in regards of this situation.
He should tell his mom that you both are very thankful that she wants to help you out, but that she is making this a stressful situation cause she does not like anything that you have chosen. And, you both prefer having a white furniture set, so that it compliments your baby’s nursery and the baby bedding. If she wants to continue to make this a big situation when it does not have to be, then she needs to either let you pick the set that you want. Or, tell her you both will be buying the set yourselves.
I do not understand why people have to make such big deals in the shorter scheme of things. I mean what is important here is that your baby has a beautiful crib in which to sleep in. Your mother in law needs to stop being so controlling. If she wanted to pick out the crib she should have just done so and surprised the both of you. I think it is sad when others are so controlling that way–like I will do this for you, if you get what I want. Same with those family members and girls’ buying their wedding dresses of their dreams. So many times the mothers/family members want one thing and the bride something totally opposite.
Just have a sit down discussion with her and let her know you are appreciative of all that she is doing for you , but that she is confusing you by her behavior. Best of luck!
Well what you have to remember and maybe remind her is that you are the ones living with the crib and the nursery set. I would just calmly tell her that you really appreciate her help but you and your husband have already picked out a nursery set so you will go ahead and pay for it. She might change her mind and buy and she might not. Your husband might want to also talk with her and tell her that you guys want her a part of the babies lives but that you guys are the parents. This happens a lot. I have had to set my in-laws down (with my husband) and lay out rules with our child.
Also, on those 3 piece sets make sure the crib front does not come down because those have safety issues. They should have taken them all off the shelf but I just wanted to tell you so you don’t buy one if they forgot to remove it. I want the baby safe!!
That sounds super frustrating. I’ve never been in that situation, but I completely agree with you. It’s very financially responsible of you to find a nice, but inexpensive, set that you like. You found something that has what YOU need, YOU want, and YOU like. It stinks that the mother in law is making it more about her preferences. Honestly, if I were you, I’d tell her that she asked YOU to pick out what YOU wanted for the baby, and you did. Ask her why she asked you to pick something out if she was just going to disregard what you picked. Tell her that you really appreciate her giving heart, but if she is not going to listen to your reasoning and/or preferences, then she should either purchase something on her own that you can return if necessary, or just forget the whole thing. This is about you, your husband, and your little baby girl. Not about her. If she gets her feelings hurt over that, tell your hubby that he needs to run interference for you.
I hate when people try to make people get what they want just becuase they are paying for it.,. Tell her its your baby and you really appreciated that she wants to pay for everything. but if she doesn’t like the one you pick you will pay for it yourself. Why does it matter if she like it or not? thats sounds like a control issue to me. Don’t feel bad for not liking the dark wood. get the one you like, its only 200 dollars i would just pay for it myself that way I get the one I like..
It is nice that she is buying it for you… But it is your house that the furniture is going in, your child that will be sleeping in it…
Just explain to her that you and your husband really like the set and since she wanted to buy the crib and you have found a great deal on a set would she mind buying that instead… If she doesn’t understand, try your best to save the $200 and buy it yourself… My sound a little rude but it is your choice on the furniture, not hers…